2024年4月22日发(作者：堵书兰)

Big Bang Theory Transcripts

S3E11 – The Maternal Congruence

Scene: The apartment.

Penny: Oh, I always tear up when the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes.

Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a

serious disease which could lead to congestive heart failure.

Leonard (singing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.

Penny: You really didn’t like it, Sheldon?

Sheldon: No, on the contrary. I found the Grinch to be a relatable, engaging character, and I was really with

him right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention and returned the presents and saved

Christmas. What a buzz kill that was.

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.

Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on Earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen

supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

Leonard (continuing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

Credits sequence.

Scene: The apartment.

Penny: I just love decorating the Christmas tree. It makes me feel like a little girl again.

Leonard: We didn’t have a tree when I was growing up.

Penny: Really? Why not?

Leonard: Mmm, in my family, holidays weren’t so much celebrated as studied for their anthropological and

psychological implications on human society.

Penny: Oh, sounds festive. Did you at least give presents?

Leonard: Mmm, in a way. We presented papers, and then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each

other.

Penny: Sheldon, what about you? Did you have a Christmas tree?

Sheldon: Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer

on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house they

induced neighbourhood-wide seizures.

Penny: So I take it you don’t want to help us trim the tree.

Sheldon: I do not. But if you insist on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home I would request

that you add this.

Penny: What is it?

Sheldon: You’re kidding, right? It’s a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.

Penny: Oh, sure, sure, yeah. Very Christmassy.

Sheldon: Wait, excuse me, but it’s much more Christmassy than anything you’ve put on the tree.

Leonard: Here we go.

Sheldon: December 25, 1642, Julian calendar, Sir Isaac Newton is born. Jesus, on the other hand, was

actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with a traditional pagan holiday that

celebrated the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats. Which, frankly, sounds like more fun than

12 hours of church with my mother followed by a fruitcake.

Leonard: Merry Newton-mas, everyone.

Sheldon: I sense that’s not sincere, although I have no idea why.

Penny: No, it’s fine. Look, Sir Isaac can go right next to this little candy cane.

Sheldon: No. Isaac goes at the top of the tree.

Leonard: No, he doesn’t.

Sheldon: I understand. You dispute Newton’s claim that he invented calculus and you want to put Gottfried

Leibniz on the top.

Leonard: Yeah, you got me. I’m a Leibniz man.

Sheldon: Well, perhaps when your mother gets here, she’ll talk some sense into you.

Penny: What? Your… your mother’s coming? When?

Leonard: Tomorrow.

Penny: When were you going to tell me?

Leonard: Um, tomorrow?

Penny: Why were you keeping this a secret?

Leonard: Well, I just, I thought…

Sheldon: If I can interject here, obviously Leonard is concerned that his mother won’t approve of you as his

mate.

Penny: Why wouldn’t she approve of me? I’m adorable.

Leonard: You are, it’s just…

Sheldon: If I can interject again. Leonard comes from a remarkably high-achieving family, who have all

chosen high-achieving partners. He probably feels that it’s doubtful that his mother will be overly impressed

with his dating a woman whose most significant achievement is memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu.

Penny: Hey, it’s a big menu. There’s two pages just for desserts.

Leonard: I know. And those specials, they change every day.

Penny: Okay, you know what? It’s lame when I say it, it’s just ridiculous when you pile on.

Leonard: Okay, sorry.

Penny: So what did she say when you told her we were going out?

Leonard: Um…

Penny: You didn’t tell her we were going out, did you?

Leonard: Um…

Penny: Why not?

Leonard: Um…

Sheldon: Leonard, I’m no expert on meditation, but if you’re trying to calm yourself down, I believe the word

is Om.

Scene: Leonard’s car.

Beverley: It was so nice of you to come all the way down to the airport to pick me up.

Sheldon: No trouble at all.

Leonard: I drove, Mother. I’m driving now.

Beverley: Yes, dear. Mommy’s proud. I’ve been meaning to thank you for your notes on my paper

disproving quantum brain dynamic theory.

Sheldon: My pleasure. For a non-physicist, you have a remarkable grasp of how electric dipoles in the

brain’s water molecules could not possibly form a Bose condensate.

Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. When did you send my mom notes on a paper?

Sheldon: August 16th. Right after her carpal tunnel surgery.

Beverley: Oh, did I thank you for the flowers?

Sheldon: You did.

Beverley: I don’t really like flowers.

Sheldon: Neither do I, but it’s the social convention.

Beverley: It is, isn’t it?

Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. You had surgery?

Beverley: Yes, and Sheldon sent me flowers.

2024年4月22日发(作者：堵书兰)

Big Bang Theory Transcripts

S3E11 – The Maternal Congruence

Scene: The apartment.

Penny: Oh, I always tear up when the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes.

Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a

serious disease which could lead to congestive heart failure.

Leonard (singing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.

Penny: You really didn’t like it, Sheldon?

Sheldon: No, on the contrary. I found the Grinch to be a relatable, engaging character, and I was really with

him right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention and returned the presents and saved

Christmas. What a buzz kill that was.

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.

Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on Earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen

supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

Leonard (continuing Deck the Halls): Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

Credits sequence.

Scene: The apartment.

Penny: I just love decorating the Christmas tree. It makes me feel like a little girl again.

Leonard: We didn’t have a tree when I was growing up.

Penny: Really? Why not?

Leonard: Mmm, in my family, holidays weren’t so much celebrated as studied for their anthropological and

psychological implications on human society.

Penny: Oh, sounds festive. Did you at least give presents?

Leonard: Mmm, in a way. We presented papers, and then broke off into focus groups and critiqued each

other.

Penny: Sheldon, what about you? Did you have a Christmas tree?

Sheldon: Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer

on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house they

induced neighbourhood-wide seizures.

Penny: So I take it you don’t want to help us trim the tree.

Sheldon: I do not. But if you insist on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home I would request

that you add this.

Penny: What is it?

Sheldon: You’re kidding, right? It’s a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.

Penny: Oh, sure, sure, yeah. Very Christmassy.

Sheldon: Wait, excuse me, but it’s much more Christmassy than anything you’ve put on the tree.

Leonard: Here we go.

Sheldon: December 25, 1642, Julian calendar, Sir Isaac Newton is born. Jesus, on the other hand, was

actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with a traditional pagan holiday that

celebrated the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats. Which, frankly, sounds like more fun than

12 hours of church with my mother followed by a fruitcake.

Leonard: Merry Newton-mas, everyone.

Sheldon: I sense that’s not sincere, although I have no idea why.

Penny: No, it’s fine. Look, Sir Isaac can go right next to this little candy cane.

Sheldon: No. Isaac goes at the top of the tree.

Leonard: No, he doesn’t.

Sheldon: I understand. You dispute Newton’s claim that he invented calculus and you want to put Gottfried

Leibniz on the top.

Leonard: Yeah, you got me. I’m a Leibniz man.

Sheldon: Well, perhaps when your mother gets here, she’ll talk some sense into you.

Penny: What? Your… your mother’s coming? When?

Leonard: Tomorrow.

Penny: When were you going to tell me?

Leonard: Um, tomorrow?

Penny: Why were you keeping this a secret?

Leonard: Well, I just, I thought…

Sheldon: If I can interject here, obviously Leonard is concerned that his mother won’t approve of you as his

mate.

Penny: Why wouldn’t she approve of me? I’m adorable.

Leonard: You are, it’s just…

Sheldon: If I can interject again. Leonard comes from a remarkably high-achieving family, who have all

chosen high-achieving partners. He probably feels that it’s doubtful that his mother will be overly impressed

with his dating a woman whose most significant achievement is memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu.

Penny: Hey, it’s a big menu. There’s two pages just for desserts.

Leonard: I know. And those specials, they change every day.

Penny: Okay, you know what? It’s lame when I say it, it’s just ridiculous when you pile on.

Leonard: Okay, sorry.

Penny: So what did she say when you told her we were going out?

Leonard: Um…

Penny: You didn’t tell her we were going out, did you?

Leonard: Um…

Penny: Why not?

Leonard: Um…

Sheldon: Leonard, I’m no expert on meditation, but if you’re trying to calm yourself down, I believe the word

is Om.

Scene: Leonard’s car.

Beverley: It was so nice of you to come all the way down to the airport to pick me up.

Sheldon: No trouble at all.

Leonard: I drove, Mother. I’m driving now.

Beverley: Yes, dear. Mommy’s proud. I’ve been meaning to thank you for your notes on my paper

disproving quantum brain dynamic theory.

Sheldon: My pleasure. For a non-physicist, you have a remarkable grasp of how electric dipoles in the

brain’s water molecules could not possibly form a Bose condensate.

Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. When did you send my mom notes on a paper?

Sheldon: August 16th. Right after her carpal tunnel surgery.

Beverley: Oh, did I thank you for the flowers?

Sheldon: You did.

Beverley: I don’t really like flowers.

Sheldon: Neither do I, but it’s the social convention.

Beverley: It is, isn’t it?

Leonard: Wait, wait, wait. You had surgery?

Beverley: Yes, and Sheldon sent me flowers.